"Parts Work" is Like a Puzzle...

...with no picture on the box

I recently had a realization as I was helping someone unpack their “parts.”

“Parts Work” is a lot like putting a puzzle together, but we don’t know how many pieces there are, and there’s no picture on the box.

Photo by Davit Margaryan on Unsplash

As Colleen West put it, “We All Have Parts,” and Dick Schwartz tells us that there are “No Bad Parts.” That being said, some of us have a whole lot of parts! When you realize that parts can have parts, and systems can have subsystems, that makes for a whole lot of dynamics at play.

Some people want to rush the healing process. They want to get to a place of wholeness and restoration “right now,” which can lead to feeling overwhelmed when different parts from different systems try to have their say.

I told a client (and their parts) this:

Every single part is important, and every one of their stories is valuable. We want to hear from each and every one of them. But, we need to do so in a way that is not overwhelming. We need to do it one piece at a time.

Yes, doing it that way will be a slower process, but it will be so much more effective than dumping the entire box onto the table, only to be overwhelmed because we can’t immediately make sense of what’s in front of us.

However, some of you have already dumped out the entire box and now we’re staring at 1,000 upside-down puzzle pieces!

Even so, we’ll begin to notice a few things. “I’m an edge piece,” one says softly. Take that piece out of the pile and whisper back, “I see you.”

Another piece calls out, “I’m here, too.” You lift that piece up, telling it, “I’ll help you find where you belong.”

The other pieces will simply have to wait their turn. You can tell them, I know you’re here, and I’ll get to you. Please don’t overwhelm me in the meantime.

I have always thought it’s more fun to put a puzzle together when you have help, so I encourage you to seek out support as you piece your parts together. Search for a therapist in your state who has training in Internal Family Systems, or there are certified coaches available worldwide.

I’m not sure if we’re ever completely done putting our puzzles together, and the process can be messy and frustrating at times, but it’s also beautiful to see the pieces coming together, forming a coherent picture that serves as a reminder for all you’ve been through.

Blessings to you and all of your precious parts on this beautiful day!